Wednesday, May 8, 2013

So... Who Won The War?

I have been in that ‘empty nest syndrome’. only my nest is like the whole world -- since my child was taken from me at the tender age of six. 13 very long years ago.

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After two appeals and two petitions for review  to the state supreme court, in the end the violence was completely ignored and my baby was handed over to the perpetrator who had brutally assaulted me,  over and over -- usually 2-3 times per week.


That is when my life as a mother ended and my life as who I became - what I have done in the arena of hell -- began. A mother who lost her daughter because our human rights to be free of inhumane torture simply does not exist.


It is hard to know what the future holds for my daughter. I have “pushed rock uphill”  have helped give face and a name to the blood and dirt of so many who are skipped over - mothers, battered mothers who are judicially and societally ordered into even greater horrors - the complete stripping of anything that once was human into a societal view of  ‘repulsive’ and ‘vindictive bitch’ -  the complete minimizing and diminishing of the horrendous torture that SHE endured - tortures that, would have it happened to any other - would be a world wide outrage - like Steubenville - New Delhi, be-headings or honor killings and stoning's, they cause but only  ‘some’ outrage.  But for we, the mothers of a hell worst than hell its self -- we go through that, have been there, done that, only 100 times more and a hundred times more intensely ---

Most definitely we are and remain NON VINDICATED. The mother who was a good mother, the high societal level of standards met - caretaker who did all the right things --- only to be kicked down, trampled, battered and left -- literally for dead.

All these years for the human rights of mothers, women, daughters and her daughters, in looking back -- what did I achieve?

I know that there is absolutely nothing that I would have done differently, every thing I did was for my daughter. What though did I do? In looking back at what -- if-- any legacy did I leave for her?  To find of her mother, my life is easily summoned by the news media playlist. chronologically going back through time from the last when DV became legal in Topeka KS - to the 1st in 1997.

Did I do enough? Of course not. Can I do do more? No. I am spent. I literally gave my whole life, my whole soul to save my daughter by ‘saving’ the rest of the world through ‘speaking out’ -- even when my voice shook. That I simply have nothing left to give.


I wasn't supposed to survive this. I was supposed to have died in a barely audible ‘whimper’ a long long time ago. My ‘activism’ (hate using that word)  was my lifeline. Literally it kept myself and yes Rikki alive. I HAD no choice but to be as loud as I could - as vocal as I could -- because that way ‘eyes were on us’ even if not directly on our SITUATION, but indirectly because I was so strong on the human rights of violence against women that the rest of the world to this day deems acceptable.


In one news clip “Why do you do this??” …. I do this for my daughter [who witnessed the violence against her mother for years] -- and for her daughters and for their daughters. In any way that I could.

Click to Video - Kansans Seek To Limit Judicial Discretion

From Judges giving child rapists  a helping hand, to organize and agitate the people of my community, the same community that failed my daughter and I..... still.

Now, I look around me. I see who I am, what I have done -- and more so -- not done. Domestic violence still is NOT a crime in the city of Topeka, yes, the media came and went because the the state of Kansas by law has to prosecute but the political positioning remains the same.
The city of Topeka REMOVED the ordinance of Domestic violence as a crime so that they would not have to prosecute. They [the city of Topeka] to this day have NOT reinstated it.

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In 10 days by baby will graduate high school and like so many other children before her  (Leadership council estimated conservatively 58 thousand a year  - that's more than 1,000  week - and that was back in 2008) and --obviously so many more yet to come --- this is the turning point.

Most never make it back to their mothers - because they know only of the power and the criminal rewards of the evil they have been forced into --  they far out way what the mind could ever conceive, another 3rd of these ‘throw away kids’ end up committing suicide because of the lack of heart in the aforementioned and those babies that were separated from their mothers at an early age --- simply are never able to reach out -- its a door that yields so much pain,  so much torture that IF they have any reason at all  to make any kind of  sense  -- out of their tortured lives - some doors are simply left best closed.


So many mothers before me - I recall-- just like I am now. (years with no contact) Go to and finally see their child at high school graduation and never see them again. One last stab, one more time to gain the ultimate destruction - they learned a very long time ago---  that to best please the beast ---that has so much power and so many rewards for hurting ---  without care --- the best and only way is to simply continue to stay in the good light of the beast --- avoid doing the one thing he hates more than her -- her mother. The means must meet the ends.

If our children had died we could grieve them and turn it over to God, but the death of the maternal child bond is constant, without reprieve, without peace - only anguish.

Happy Mothers Day and Graduation all within a week. Talk about the totality of that final bomb. No wonder they are never heard from again. Those few that did survive the fires and find each other again -- they keep their peace and the healing very close to heart, because in a blink of the eye --  they know that it too will be gone.


That simply driven to change the world will no longer matter because the real reason that I or Susan Murphy Milano’s  of the world ever did  --- what we did  --- was for our children.
On death beds a mothers last whisper is for her child that is what it is really about, has always been about. (God Susan my friend I miss you so much. With her death, on the anniversary of my own mother's death October 28th, 2012 -- well my heart is beyond repair. Susan remains in my every thought of navigation my own self healing  a whole other chapter to Susan will have to be next)


So, who won the war?


Depends on the what defines the war..... if it means my lifetime or even my daughters -- we did not. If it means that in a few more generations -- the grandchildren of my daughters era -- perhaps then, we as a society will care enough about others, have compassion and actually do for others instead of - only ourselves -- then perhaps, maybe -- maybe then we can say, many battles were lost - many lives were taken but we finally did win the war’ -- and it was not without the life sacrifices of those who came before, those people who gave it everything to pave the path. Let their cries, the ghosts of so many before - never be forgotten.


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I love you my daughter, do not suffer or have any guilt about anything, just live your life baby. But God, please I pray --  You live it free. And maybe -- if I do not die from a broken heart 1st, perhaps -- then one day -- maybe --- I too, will be set free.

(and maybe actually start writing a book that will help others - again for mostly you -- this one, Leaving the War Zone  a battered mothers memoirs for her daughter.)


The Path Unpaved
I've walked this path alone so often,
I know it's form by heart.
And now, as always, my footing's unsure,
on its unstable and rocky start.
I second-guess each step I take,
for fear I'll slip and fall,
That one wrong step will lend me to,
an end that ends it all.
One misplaced foot, one careless word,
an avalanche begins;
The tug of war of heart and mind,
till one of them finally wins.
Each time I've walked this troubled path,
It’s ended  journey not together,
 Each time I fear that to walk it again,
will tear me apart forever.
I haven't the strength to walk it alone,
nor the energy, if only I knew..
As every time I take this route,
I fear it may be my last too.
I don't know how to stop the pain,
Of traveling down this road again.
I've fought it time and over,
only to start it over again.
Yet each and every day I persevere,
As I steady my Unstable start:
I know that only change can come
From all of Passions Heart.
So if I must, I’ll rest awhile.
Ignore the Siren song.
Take comfort in the truth I dare 
Unshakably, I will try to stand eternally strong.
© AngelFury
2005

Sunday, May 5, 2013

July 12, 2001 (From the Archives) Courts Have Continued Abuse Of Manhattan Woman

Courts Have Continued Abuse Of Manhattan WomanBy Jon A. Brake
Manhattan Free Press
http://www.kansas.net/~freepress/7-12-01-8.html

MANHATTAN, KS - To some this could be considered beautiful. Solid mahogany is beautiful when given a high finish and it does have a high finish. It is about four to four and a half feet long, a foot and a half high; with shinny brass handles at the foot and head. A child's coffin, in this home has been turned into a coffee table.

To Claudine Dombrowski it is not beautiful, that is her daughter, six-year-old Rikki on the couch behind the threatening coffee table. If a coffin coffee table is not enough, a hunting rifle hangs on the wall above the couch.

Claudine, a Manhattan resident, was divorced from Hal Richardson in Shawnee County District Count in 1997. She had been a repeat victim of Domestic Violence and a repeat victim of the State Court System.
What does the Court System think of the coffin coffee table? In a letter to Shawnee County District Court Division Two Judge Richard D. Anderson, Harry Moore, with the Court Services stated: "When I was at the house, I did not recognize anything which in my experience resembled a child's coffin. After looking at the picture and speaking with Mr. Richardson, I have come to find out that it is indeed a coffin and that it was an antique which he purchased in Mexico several years ago and uses as a coffee or end table of sorts."

What about the rifle? Mr. Moore said, "There is also a secured hunting weapon hanging on Mr. Richardson's wall. The thing which is striking about this specific issue is that it contains a remarkable leap of logic. For instance, I am the owner of a 7.9 mm Mauser rifle which was the standard issue firearm for the German soldier in World War II. This weapon was procured by my father who served in Europe during the war. This weapon also hangs on the wall in  my rec room. Does my ownership and display of this firearm lead one to the conclusion that I am a Nazi?"

The question Mr. Moore failed to answer is: "Is it a leap of logic for an abused woman to see the child's coffin and the rifle as more than furniture? Is there a message to the mother? The Shawnee District Court has missed many messages when it comes to the violence in this case.

When reading Court documents it is clear that attorneys have intentionally muddied the waters. It was a nasty divorce, those things happen. Eight or more attorneys, three different Judges and several Court Service workers have filed motion after motion. In the end a Judge wants to compel a dysfunctional family to be normal. It can't be done.

Halleck (Hal) Richardson and Claudine Dombrowske lived together for several months before they were married on November 22, 1995. Divorce papers were filed four month later. By this time records show Hal Richardson had abused Claudine and he had Domestic Battery and Criminal Damage to property convictions.

Hal had seven other convictions before 1995. The convictions were for Battery, Attempted Battery, Battery of a Law Enforcement Officer, Obstruction of Legal Process, Possession of Marijuana and an Open Container conviction.

Most of the Probation Conditions were never followed up on by court officials. After the Domestic Battery conviction, Hal was ordered to attend an "Alternatives to Battering Program" put on by the Battered Women Task Force in Topeka. A few of the comments made on Hal's report were: "Client rude and disrespectful to female co-facilitator as evidenced by his combative stance, his repeated interruptions, his sexist language and his refusal to accept any responsibility."

Another report stated: "Client very disruptive during group, this was evidenced by the fact that he interrupted the facilitator repeatedly by making rude comments, laughing and telling inappropriate sexist jokes."
And finally: "Called PO (probation officer) and client to tell them that he had graduated as far as I was concerned. He only has 17 sessions, but is causing too much trouble with his mouth. Terminated, with cause. Will not be accepted back."

The divorce proceedings were extended for eighteen months. Throughout the proceedings Claudine's attorneys filed numerous reports claiming violations of the restraining order and requesting an order to sever contact between Hal, Claudine and daughter Rikki.

The first involved an incident that both parties agreed in court happened, they just could not agree what happened. Claudine said she was hit in the head with a crow bar and Hal said it was a piece of wood. What ever he hit her with it took 24 stitches to close the head wounds.

At a hearing on June 17, 1996 Shawnee County District Court Judge Jan W. Leuenberger signed order giving custody of Rikki to Claudine and authorizing her to move to the Great Bend area so that "Ms. Dombrowski could avoid the history of physical and verbal abuse she had suffered from Mr. Richardson."
Hal was given supervised visitation.

As in many divorce cases the Judge on November 5, 1996 appointed Mr. Scott McKenzie, Attorney at Law, to serve as Guardian ad Litem to appear on behalf of Rikki. Mr. McKenzie was very experienced in juvenile court proceedings with more than 1,000 cases but this was only his sixth Guardian ad Litem. Under Mr. McKenzie direction visitation terms were worked out to where Claudine would keep Rikki for three weeks and then Hal would have her for a week.

Before the Divorce Trial started a new Judge took over. Judge James P. Buchele replaced Judge Leuenberger.

It is about this time the Court and Court appointed case workers attitued changed. Judge Buchele saw that fifty people were being called as witnesses for the trial. He placed a limit of five for each side. This can be done but it can cause problems. Court documents state: "These limits made it difficult or impossible for Ms. Dombrowski to bring in all of the witnesses to corroborate here clams." During the trial the Judge would not allow hearsay evidence but the proper witness was not there to testify.

At trial Mr. McKenzie indicated, "after reading the police reports of the violence, and the doctor's reports, he was not able to validate any of the truth of any of the accusations of violence made by Ms. Dombrowski."
When asked about Mr. Richardson's criminal history Mr. McKenzie recalled only a single offense for driving under the influence of alcohol, and was unaware of the misdemeanor convictions including the domestic violence battery against Claudine. He was unaware of a misdemeanor battery for a bar fight and the battery of a law enforcement officer.

Records of the Battered Women's Task Force had never been reviewed by Mr. McKenzie. Even thou Claudine had received support from the facility. In a report to the court Mr. McKenzie had recommended anger management therapy for Claudine but not for Hal.

In Judge Buchele's Orders after the trial he made it clear that he wanted more from this couple than what was possible. Here is what he wrote: "Mutual parental involvement with this child has been made worse by Ms. Dombrowski's unilateral decision to move to Larned, Kansas in May of 1996. The distance between Topeka and Larned makes it virtually impossible for an individual treater to work with the family; for Mr. Richardson to have regular and frequent contact with this child; to establish any reasonable dialogue between the parents toward resolving their conflicts. The move from Topeka to Larned, due to the proximity of the parties, has lessened the physical violence. It has, however, done violence to the relationship of Rikki and her father. If long distance visitation is continued, in the Court's view, will take its toll not only on Rikki but each of the parties. The Court specifically finds that separation of the child from either parent for long periods of time is harmful for a child of about three years of age."

He then went on to require Claudine to move back to the Topeka area.
And then Judge Buchele made a judgment that some Manhattan attorneys say is not legal. Judge Buchele ordered: "Further, respondent (Claudine) is directed to not call law enforcement authorities to investigate the petitioner (Hal) without first consulting with the case manager."

On December 14, 2000 after returning her daughter to her fathers home Claudine alleges that she was battered and raped by Hal. Under order not to call law enforcement authorities and with bleeding that would not stop, she drove to St. Marys, Kansas to get treatment. Claudine knew that if she had gone to a Topeka Hospital they would have called the police.

In St. Marys hospital officials did contact the Pottawatomie Sheriff and a report was made. She was advised that because the alleged event occurred in Shawnee County she would have to file there. Claudine said that because of the battery and rape she picked up Rikki the next day and did not return her. The Shawnee County Sheriff's Department was called and took Rikki back to Topeka. The court gave Hal custody and orders for her to attend Topeka schools.

As it stands now, Rikki is with her father in Topeka. Claudine gets two one-hour visits per week. The child will go to school in Topeka unless a new motion, which will be filed this week, is granted. The motion will request that Claudine be given custody and Rikki be allowed to attend school in Manhattan.
This case has received national attention by the National Organization for Women; the Judicial Initiative Commission Hearing by the Citizens for Good Judges and it was told to the Kansas Justice Commission in 1997.

A new Judge will be hearing the motion. Judge Richard D. Anderson took over the case on the retirement of Judge Buchele. But, unless Claudine receiveds help from Kansas citizens, the abuse will continue. In July of 2000 Judge Anderson reaffirmed all of Judge Buchele's previous orders. Evan the order to not call law enforcement authorities
Webmaster Note:  You can contact Judge Richard D. Anderson at (785) 233-8200 ext. 4350

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

July 2001 (From the Archives) Original Website



Rikki's Story

(This page is updated frequently...please refresh <F5> often)
       
                     Rikki Alexandria Dombrowski and her mom Claudine.                       The child-sized Coffin coffee table to show HE's in charge.
Please contact the new Court contacts and well as the prosecuting attorney.
Please read the following initial newspaper article for Rikki's horrifying story.
Picture of Rikki and Claudine the day after Rikki was born. Mom has a black eye!
Picture of Battery of Mom (WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC) dated 12/14/2000
Picture of Battery of Rikki (Not as graphic but does show recently healed split lip and bruised nose) dated 12/10/00
Who is Claudine? During correspondance with Rep. Kent Glasscock the following letter was written.

Updates

8/25/01 - Added an interested CNN contact - Greta Van Susteren
8/25/01 - Related Petition added to Links section
8/25/01 - Updated Contact Information and reorganized a bit.
8/23/01 - Letter from supporter asking about Claudine's 'secret's ... is there more to the story you're not telling us?

Repsonses and Correspondence

Other documents

Messages and Quotes

Plea for Help

Contact Information:

Links

We are not alone!

 

Visitor # 19962

Last Modified: 8/25/2001 10:10:50 PM
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July 26, 2001 (From the Archives) Kansas State Collegian: All She Wants Is To Get Her Daughter Back




Manhattan resident fights custody battle for daughter
Published on Thursday, July 26, 2001
By Alyson Raletz
Kansas State Collegian


All she wants is to get her daughter back.
Claudine Dombrowski, a Manhattan resident, is fighting for the custody of her 6-year-old daughter, Rikki, who is currently living with her father in Topeka.
Dombrowski said she divorced her husband, Hal Richardson, in February 1996 because of severe and repeated domestic violence towards her and her daughter.
During the following years, Rikki went back and forth between living with her mother and father.
In August 2000, a judge awarded sole custody to Richardson.
She went from being a full-time mother to only being allowed supervised visitation one hour every Thursday and Saturday. She has to pay $9 for each visit to her daughter.
She said she suspects Rikki is still being abused at her ex-husband's home.
"When I look at her now, she's almost unknown to me," she said.
"Her eyes are sunken in and she has lost her smile. She is dead inside. There is no more spirit left in her."
Richardson had no comment.
Richardson's lawyer, Don Hoffman, said he could not comment on many aspects of the case because there are matters still pending in the courts, but Rikki's safety is not an issue.
"Her safety has never been seriously questioned the entire time she has lived with Richardson," Hoffman said.
Dombrowski is waiting for the Topeka courts to set a date for a custody hearing where she will try to win back her daughter. She said she is trying to get as many people as possible to attend the hearing because she feels it will help her case.
"If we have enough of a turn out, I know I will get her back," she said. "I think the judge will do the right thing and follow the law."
One way, she has been rallying support has been through a Web site that includes letters and documents she has gathered that show the injustices of her case, she said.

Her cousin, Katrina Mukherjee from San Antonio, runs the site for her.
"It started out by just posting some e-mail attachments to a Webs ite, and then it became a mission," Mukherjee said.
She first posted the site on July 13, a Friday. Then, she said, she sent e-mails to everyone and anyone she could think of with the site link.
"When everyone got to work that Monday and checked their e-mail. That's when the response to the site exploded," Mukherjee said.
The site receives 2,922 hits a day and has had 9,187 individual visitors, she said.
The site has also had visits from 18 different countries.
Besides information about the custody battle, the site includes several graphic photos displaying a battered Dombrowski and her daughter.
Mukherjee said the photos get people's attention.
"You can hear her say that your ex-husband beat her," she said. "But how do you believe what she said? This is not a thwarted mother or some drug addict mom messing with the system. This is real."
She said she feels bad if the pictures trigger bad memories for other battered wives, but hopefully they will be motivated to help.
"Sometimes it gets really frustrating," she said. "But our whole reason for doing this is that someone somewhere, will get the message, care and be in a position to actually help."
Already Dombrowski has been flooded with e-mails from children's advocate agencies, battered women and others who are offering assistance. Senator Kent Glasscock has even written a letter offering assistance, Mukherjee said.
Along with the onslaught on responses, there have been problems. After its first weekend, the there was an attempt to hack into the site and Dombrowski's computer received eight computer viruses through e-mails that supposedly offered help, she said.
"I think we are pissing a lot of people off with the site," she said. "That's OK. It's an emotional issue. As annoying as viruses are, we have dealt with them. You can't expect everyone to be on your side."

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Cross Roads

(meanderings) April 10th, 2013 ( my first post by phone and its not even my phone lol - I want this!)


Today is my Birthday. Almost half a century I have lived. I am ok with it. I think of my mother. I had long ago told Rikki that Birthdays were for Mothers, as you see it is we who remember with infinite detail the day the hour the minute that our child left our body and came into this world.

Today I will write my daughter a goodbye letter, how many people get a chance to do that, i mean really how many do? I even have two wonderful contacts to leave to her, weather I be alive or in heaven, she now has two solid people that can answer her questions, assist her in any way that I would, or even perhaps help to set up a meeting and perhaps even meet one another. One is a lawyer - don't hold it against him, he is a great guy not a typical lawyer, he does conservatorships, executors, guardian he will handle all my personal affairs here on out throughout my life and in death. Power of attorney perhaps is a better word.

The second contact is a youth pastor. This is the one I really want her to reach to. She hurts so badly, her world -- so very much pain and sadness but like her mom she does her best to change that into positive. at age 18 she must feel like 118. I ache for her lost childhood, I pray for her future freedom happiness and most of peace.

My daughter graduates May 19, 2013. Absolutely amazing how fast the time goes. All through out all these tortuous years it seemed that each and every day, each and every hour and minute of every day for the past 18 years and then more the past 13 years when my child was gone.

I thought it was hell the first 6 years,but even in that hell, Rikki and I were still together. I would gladly trade one hell for another just to see her eyes shine, to hear her laughter, her voice. the smell of her hair the softness yet firm holding of my hand.But of course I am recalling the last time I knew my daughter she was 6 years old and nothing else mattered nothing could compare to her and I not even the weekly court hearings the long visits. We always made it through because we had each other.

I have been trying to to scan the photos, the videos, more times than not I come across stuff I had not thrown away. One audio recording was just like that. It is a cassette tape standard size, through the years i have had them all until the mid 2000’s when digital entered the world.
This tape though for whatever reason did not make it to the trash. insert audio here

I remember on my birthdays past - before Rikki was born, of having manicures pedicures stuff like that. On this day, I write to her one last time (except for here). I look back on my life and I did the best I could. Everything I did I did for her. everything. I could not directly reach or help her so I reached out to change the world she lived in, to make it better for her somehow.

I am not an advocate. I am a mother. being a mother always trumps everything else. By being a mother I just happened to meet a whole lot of other mothers globally who to were being tortured via the system by their abusers. How do you survive something like that? You survive by being with like minded. Women, mothers from all over the world have been my best friends, my family, my warrior sisters, all who are just as I. Well, most are not as old as I am lol and most still have children still trapped in the system.

But all are the absolute most amazing women ever. Usually women are inhumane to another. I see this is still being taught in our youth. I know this comes from the patriarchal society. Seriously, if women were to unite. and think free men would lose  control of the world. And men for the most part are creatures made so differently than women. I used to joke about boys being dumb when I was a kid. Now, how in the hell do they control everything? Because ‘we’ let them.

Abigail Adams writes about this. once while tending the garden with her daughter, the daughter asked her mother then why do we let them? Abigail answered ‘because we love them so much’ we are simply happy when they are home. - that is the mother- the caretaker the nurturer the family is only because of her.

I absolutely love history. so much to learn so many parallels and it wasn't that long ago. These are our roots. As a free people. free of the crown free to become or to fail in whatever way we choose. I am saddened beyond words at the loss of those values that created (far from perfect) but the best country in the world. at the moment WE still can complain about our civil constitutional and human rights being violated. But these are under attack, I believe that when the dust settles, the ‘heart’ of the people that fuel the strength of this nation, will too become victorious. It is seriously just like the Nazi Propaganda of WWII, insert link here.

It brings chills to body when reading it, It is happening now.

So........ with all the world madness here i am again. just a small tiny one person.. a mother trying to talk to understand and more so to heal in the hopes that her daughter to will find solace healing and validation. seems small compared to the rest but it all plays a part. a simple yet only one thing that must be needed in order to accomplish any of the other. Freedom.

Freedom to succeed or to fail. To be the master of our own destiny. To live and to learn to invent to experience. (not to be told by the government what we can drink, how to live-- geez the shit is getting so bad I dare not watch the news anymore.

Back to current - I do not know where I will be or even if I will be. I do know that when You graduate on May 19th, I will be as well leaving the war zone. This is why the last letter to you is so important. Your two contacts. No matter what, where or those are the contacts to, for and of me. Just mom for her daughter.

####

Can some tell me why a simple highlight turned my hair orange?
Brassy.... hmmm ;-)
 it has sas :-)